My Mom reviews Free Comic Book Day

As I began writing up reviews for the Free Comic Book Day offerings, I had a thought. At least in theory, FCBD is supposed to be an opportunity for new fans to enter the comic book fold, so I thought it might be more interesting to get a completely fresh perspective from someone who has no experience with comics whatsoever. And so I give you the selections from Free Comic Book Day 2007, as reviewed by... my Mom.

Owly

Most of her reading experience was spent asking me who was who and what was going on. "I had a hard time following this," she said later, "which made me feel kinda stupid." [Note: Despite liking Owly, I have to admit that the whole potted plant plot was not particularly well expressed by all the complicated pictographs jammed into tiny panels.]

She called the art "smudgy and indistinct," comparing it to charcoals. Afterwards, she leaned in and told me sotto voce that she didn't think Owly was "gonna make it," and gently suggested that the creative team seek alternate forms of employment.

Quote: "I know I’m supposed to like him because he’s cute, but I don’t."

Mom's rating: F


The Umbrella Factory

Quote: "This looks like death. Somebody died and the zombies are dancing."

Mom's rating: D


Amazing Spider-Man

Despite liking the cover, saying the picture of Spider-Man "conveyed strength and motion," her admiration for the drawing quickly fell away. The panels were consistently overwhelming, crammed with too much dialogue, action, and background detail. She took particular issue with the number of ads, which she noted were on almost every right hand page for maximal psychological impact. Her rant went like this:

Is this an ad in the middle of the story? They shouldn’t do that. It’s right in the middle. Is this page the comic, or is it an ad? How are you supposed to know where the story begins and ends? And there’s another ad! I only went one page! I’m offended.”

Although she seemed to enjoy the Aunt May birthday story, when it switched over to the post-Civil War tale where "Helmet Guy" (read: Iron Man) attacked Spidey, her eyes glazed over and she declared herself "totally, totally lost."

Quote: "What does Spider-Man mean when he says 'pimp my ride'? I hear that on TV all the time!"

Mom's Rating: B


Love and Capes

Quote: "This might be good, but it looks too childish to me. It's on nice paper, though."

Mom's Rating: C


The Lone Ranger

From panel one, the art knocked her socks off. "There's just something about the drawing I really like," she said, noting that the long, horizontal panels were much easier to read than the crowded asymmetry of Amazing Spider-Man. The "normal," less exaggerated depictions of people seemed to resonant with her as well. The final joke between Tonto and the horse was so funny to her that she narrated it aloud, and then declared that if there were other Lone Ranger comics lying around, she'd want to read them.

Quote: [after seeing an ad for Savage Tales] “This is soft-core porn!”

Mom's Rating: A


Astounding Wolf-Man

She responded much more positively to Wolf-Man than to any other superhero title. She liked the art, comparing it favorably to Lone Ranger, and saying it was "nice and clean and not overly busy," unlike ASM. "You have a superhero, but he's developed in a way that's believable."

Quote: "This isn’t the Wolf-Man I remember. [studies the book for a moment] He looks so different. What about the Wolf-Man your brother used to read? Ohhhh. That was Wolverine."

Mom's Rating: B+


Drawn & Quarterly Activity Book

Quote: "OK, this is just way too weird for me."

Mom's rating: F


Whiteout

This was far and away my mother's favorite book, which makes me a little proud. The cover intrigued her, and despite her aversion to black and white comics, she was almost instantly hooked. "This is a whole different sort of thing," she said. "It isn't all about action, it's about dialogue and plot too." She liked that it was a mystery, and that it told a story without needing to "clunk strange-looking mutant bad guys over the head." Other pluses: "It has women characters that aren’t just sex symbols."

She concluded by calling Greg Rucka a "real storyteller," and... there's that pride again.

Quotes: "I assume that this is just a new artist, and he can't afford colors yet."

"Oh, now they're swearing. They're F'ing this. But they're saying the F!"

Mom's Rating: A